To Love and to Lose(66)By: Mercy B
“They said that this shit should eventually get better, but I don’t see it any time soon. I haven’t even figured out if I’m in a nightmare, or this is really my reality. I just keep thinking that the Lord wouldn’t kill a nigga’s heart like this. But then, your absence confirms it all –sometimes. I’ve gained an angel.” Coop sighed, wiping his tears. “That’s just the truth in it. I just wish that you could hear me. I wish that I could tell yo how much a nigga missing you and can’t wait until we meet again. I’m doing all that I can with our daughter, and I hope that it’s pleasing to you. I hope that you don’t mind, but I’m just going to take a minute. I just want to lay beside you, one last time.” Coop’s tears returned at the thought of never holding Saydee in his arms again. She used to fit so perfectly. “Just one last time.” he bit his tongue, trying to halt the weeping that was sure to come. Removing his jacket, he laid it on the square base of her headstone. He, then, laid on top of it.
Staring into the air, Coop begged for a sign from above. He needed to know that Saydee had heard his cry. He needed a sign that she understood that he loved her, wholeheartedly. More than anything, he needed a sign that she was, indeed, watching over he and their baby girl. Just as the thoughts filed into his head, a single drop of precipitation from the sky hit him in the chest, right on top of his racing heart.
Lifting up, he looked around. Then, another drop. This time, it hit his cheek. Rubbing his face, he looked at his hand, and then up at the sky. The clouds were nowhere in sight, and although it was windy, it was sunny out. There was no chance of rain. Smiling, Coop realized what was happening. Just as he’d asked, Saydee had sent him a sign. She’d heard his cry. Satisfied with her response, he laid back down –smiling. Even though she’d lost, she had also loved. That’s what mattered the most.