Syn:Sex Is Syn, Love Is Pain(6)

By: J Peach



“Yo little black ass think you smooth. You just knew I was gon’ follow you, huh?” Smoke jogged to catch up to me.

“No, I didn't know that, but I was hoping you would,” my eyes rolled at his smiling face.

“You tryna do something?” He asked again as he bit into his lower lip while looking me over.

My head shook. “No, I'm tryna cop something, though. You got any rollers?”

“Get in the truck,” he pointed to his ride and walked off. This time I followed him.

I hopped in the passenger seat as he got in on the driver side. Smoke closed the door and then turned to face me. “What you trying to get?”

“X or Xanax. I’ll take three of both if you got it.” I reached into my purse and grabbed my wallet. “Do you have them?” I looked back at him. I was ready to get those pills and go meet up with Missy before I had to hit the highway.

“Yeah, I got it.” Smoke reached into his ashtray and grabbed half of a blunt and lit it. He hit it a couple of times before he handed it to me. “Angel, when you gon’ let me take you out. I don’t know why you keep playing with me.” His hand came to my thigh and he started to rub it.

I looked at his hands and rolled my eyes. Even so, I didn’t move them. “Because you’re a hood and I don’t date hoods. Y’all keep up too much shit for me. Here,” I handed him one hundred-twenty dollars. I didn’t take what he said seriously. Since I’d known Smoke, he always messed with me, flirting with me or playing like he was trying to get with me.

“Damn, that’s how you do it?” He laughed, taking the money and handing me the pills. “I’m starting to think yo ass a lesbian for real.”

I reached over the seat and hit him while I laughed. “Shut up with yo dumbass.” I found it funny that people would think I was a lesbian just because they never saw me date anyone. “No. But seriously, I really can’t even bullshit around with you today. I’m already pressed for time. Maybe when I get back we can link up and smoke or something,” I told him straight up.

“That’s what’s up. I got some shit to handle anyway, so just call me when you’re ready to do something.”

I put the pills in my purse and then leaned over the seat and kissed his cheek. “Most definitely. I’ll call you.” Once I exited his car, I filled up my tank, got in my car and left the gas station. I was headed toward the restaurant to get Missy's food.



***

“Since you're off, what you have planned for tomorrow?” Missy took a pull on the blunt and released the smoke from her mouth.

“Shid, I don’t even know. Then again, I got so much homework that I need to finish. I guess I’m just gonna stay in the house for the next couple of days and finish my homework.” I grabbed the blunt from her and put it to my lips. I inhaled the smoke and held it for a second before exhaling. “Yeah, that's what I'mma do,” I verbally confirmed the plans in my head, “I have so much to catch up on. So know my phone will be on silent for the next few days,” I told Missy while I held out the blunt for her.

She waved me off. “Bitch, that's nothing new. Every week you crawl into that shell of yours and ignore our asses. You've done it for years, so when you don't answer your phone we know you're working on your school shit. That’s why we don't bother you,” she shrugged as she lay back in the passenger seat and relaxed. She was high as hell.

A smile came to my face at her calm demeanor. I loved the hell out my girls. They were so understanding and didn't really pry when I stopped answering my phone for a few days. My smile dimmed as that thought ran through my head.

A part of me felt bad about lying to them and keeping such a big secret from them. I wanted to be open about everything I'd been doing since I was a teenager, but I couldn't. My four girls were the only good thing in my life and I didn't want to tarnish that by telling them who and what I really was. I wouldn't have been able to pretend everything in my life was amazing if they knew the other side of me.

“Ang, what's wrong, babe?” Missy's fingers snapped in my face, pulling me out of my inner thoughts.

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