Swirl Love is Not Forbidden(10)By: Tamara Black
He’s forward and direct. I like it.
I walked over to my brown cloth couch and sat down to the left of him.
“What are we watching?”
“I don’t know, I just wanted to hang out. I miss you in the mornings.”
“You do, huh?”
I nodded, tension building up in the air between us.
We looked at each other, neither of us breaking eye contact. As if pulled by gravity, we gradually moved our bodies forward. He put his hand on my arm just as our lips touched. The past two weeks flashed through my mind all at once, a cacophony of happiness, joy and sexual desire. I kissed him back, slipping my tongue into his mouth as I put my hand on his waist, feeling his hard, toned body through his button-down shirt.
I pulled away, breathing deeply.
“We should take it slow,” I said. “Because of work…”
Before I could finish my thought, he bent forward and kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around him, holding tight as our mouths made love for the first time. He combined gentle and firm together in a way that made me wet between the legs. Not yet. It’s too soon, my brain said. Meanwhile, my heart and loins ached for him – his touch, his look, his kiss, his thrust. I wanted all of him.
I stopped hugging him and pushed on his chest. He looked into my eyes. His were hungry and full of lust.
“Let’s wait. Do this right,” I said. “I like you a lot.”
He stared at me for what seemed like an eternity. Did I fuck up? He could have anyone. Why am I pushing him away?
“It’s okay,” he said, a smile forming on his face. “I get the feeling you’re more than worth the wait.”
“We could watch a movie and cuddle, though. That sound okay?”
“That sounds incredible, Tanesha. The best night I’ve had in a long while.”
We watched Bringing Down the House with Queen Latifah and Steve Martin. Both of us laughed until it hurt. When we weren’t rolling with laughter, I snuggled up against him, loving the feeling of safety and security in his arms. After the movie, I yawned and said I needed to go to bed to get up in the morning for work.
“Damn Pizza Pizza,” he joked.
“I’d blow it off if I didn’t need the money.”
“I hear you.”
At the door, I gave him another kiss – another few moments of bliss.
“Thanks for a great night, Tony.”
“You too. We’ll have to do this again sometime.”
I nodded. “For sure.”
He left. I locked up and got ready for bed, kicking myself for not inviting him to spend the night. Then again, I realized as I crawled into bed, I don’t want him to think I’m a slut. My dreams that night were filled of heroes rescuing me, the black princess. They were almost as enjoyable as the real thing.
The next morning at work went as well as usual. I couldn’t wait for Tony to come in. When he did just before my shift ended, I played it cool.
“Hey, Tony,” I said from the ovens.
He smiled at me on the way to his office.
Once I’d turned over the reins to Tom, the assistant manager for the night shift, I walked back and leaned against the doorframe.
“Come in and shut the door,” he said.
I smiled and did as he said, not caring what the other employees thought.
“I had such a great time last night, but…”
Shit. What is this?
He paused and frowned.
“What?” I asked. “Am I fired?”
“No, no, it’s not that, but I think we should cool it down some so the others don’t get upset. I don’t want to risk your job.”
“But you’re the boss, right?”
“Well, yeah, but…”
“But what? You would be the one who fired me for fraternizing with you. And you wouldn’t do that, right?”
“Look, Tanesha. It’s not you. I just have so much going on right now.”
“Yeah, me too,” I said, acting as if it didn’t affect me at all.
On the inside, however, he had crushed me. Is this because I didn’t sleep with him last night? The doubts flamed my anger.
“I gotta go,” I said.
“Do you have your kids again?” he asked.
“Is that what this is about? You don’t want anything to do with my children?”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. It’s just…” He sighed again. “I don’t know how to explain it. Your life would be worse with me in it.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. I’ll see you tomorrow maybe.”
Before he could say another word, I opened the office door and walked away, leaving it open. I could feel the other employees staring at me as I walked through the front to fill out my timecard before I left. All of the joy I’d felt had turned to anger and sadness in the span of just a few minutes. What is wrong with me? I wondered as I got in my car and drove to my empty apartment. The kids would be away for another few days, leaving me all alone.
♥ ♥ ♥
As I got ready for bed that evening, wrapped up in a white, cotton robe, I heard a knock at the door. Who could that be? I wondered as I walked over and looked through the peephole. Outside, I saw Tony standing, shuffling his weight from one foot to the other as he glanced back and forth down the hallway in both directions. What the hell? I unlocked the door and opened it a few inches.