Me and My Rider:A Dirty Game of Love(2)

By: Renee



“I need y’all to put on y’all shoes. We need to go over to your grandmother’s house.”

“What grandma?” Ben questioned

“Your sister’s grandma!” she scolded, “Now, go do what I said, before I tear into your butt.”

As instructed, the kids ran to their rooms and put on their shoes and jackets. Before they knew it, they were rolling. The car ride was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Trisha was scared, and she wanted to ask her mom why she was so upset, but she opted not to, not wanting to make anything worse. So in silence, she stayed. When they arrived at her grandmother’s home, there were cars and people everywhere. Everyone got out the car and walked into the two-bedroom apartment. Trisha’s eyes widened, as she witnessed everyone crying and hugging. She began to feel overwhelmed, so she walked back outside for some air. That’s when she spotted her cousin Shan playing on the curb.

Hoping to find out something, Trisha walked over to her and spoke, “Hey cuz, what’s going on? Why everybody crying?”

Shan looked over at Trisha, and with innocence in her eyes, and the slur in her tongue, she said, “Uncle Duce died today.”

Time stopped and Trisha froze. She could feel the tears falling and her hands shaking, but for the life of her, she couldn’t move. There was only one question running through her mind: “Did this girl just tell me my daddy died?”

By all means of the words, Trisha was definitely a daddy’s girl. Wherever Daddy Duce went, you’d better believe Trisha wasn’t far behind. Most people considered him to be a crazy wild man, who acted first and never spoke after, but to Trisha, he was just daddy. Recently incarcerated, Trisha, Mom, and Camren didn’t see him as much, but every chance they did get, they were making the long trips to the prison. It was a two-hour drive for a thirty-minute visit, and it was kind of nerve wrecking for a young six-year-old girl, but as long as she got to see her daddy’s face, the restlessness was worth it. Now, within a blink of an eye, he was gone.

“Trisha….Trisha,” Shan screamed, as she shook Trisha’s arms trying to get her attention. Trisha snapped back to reality, and without responding, walked back into the house. The rest of the night was a blur in her eyes. She heard the voices and saw the faces; yet her brain couldn’t register what was going on around her. Confusion flooded her head, and Trisha shut down; mind, body, and soul. When she awakened, she was sitting on her mom’s bed. She looked up and saw Camren sitting in her mom’s lap. Trisha wiped her eyes and sat up to see what her mom and sister were looking at. Her mom handed her a crocheted neckless with a cross in the middle that matched the one around Camren’s neck.

“These were from y’all daddy,” their mom said softly, and just like that, all the weary feelings Trisha had felt earlier that day rushed back into her head. Trisha wanted to ask her mom if what her cousin had told her was true, but in her heart, she felt it was, so she kept her mouth closed and listened as her mother read aloud the last letter they would ever receive from Daddy Duce.

Two weeks later, Trisha fiddled with her white dress as everyone prepared to walk into the church house. Her and Camren had enjoyed their first ride over in the limo, however when Trisha got a glimpse of the black hearse in front of them, the joy soon faded and the numbness returned. She felt fine until she walked up to the casket. She squeezed her mom’s hand and braced herself as she glanced inside. Trisha screamed at the top of her lungs, as she grabbed her mother’s side. She couldn’t even recognize the man laying out in front of her and that scared her even more. The family grabbed her and tried to keep her calm as her mom said her last goodbyes to her husband.

After the service, they journeyed to the grave site. Trisha wept as she watched the man lower her dad’s last remains into the grave. For the first time, reality hit her like a ton of bricks. My daddy’s dead… she thought. A part of her wanted to jump into the grave with him; another part wanted someone to wake her up from the nightmare she was living. Yet, all she could do was stand there and let the tears fall. Ben walked up to Trisha and wrapped his arms around his little sister. Soon after, Camren followed not wanting to be left out.

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